Sunday, June 20, 2010

worst Jessie toys ever

I saw Toy Story 3 a couple of nights ago. It was EPIC. I can't recommend it enough. In fact, it's put me in a bit of a Toy Story buzz. My absolute favorite character is Jessie the Yodeling cowgirl.

Unless you've been under a rock for the past 10 years, you should know who Jessie is. She's tough, takes no crap from anyone, but sweet, caring, and always willing to do the right thing. And for a toy, she's really really pretty.
You didn't read that >>

This is their newest Jessie toy. She comes in the exact same scale as she does in the movie, she talks, she's interactive, and she has the cutest face from any Jessie toy ever. And I sadly do not own it T_T But I have one question.
WHY did it take so long for them to make a Jessie toy this good? I don't even care about the interactive technology (though it's nice and I welcome it) my beef is no other Jessie toy LOOKS this good. Don't believe me? Well, let's take a look at some of the Jessie toys that have come out over the years
Now, keep in mind I don't OWN any of these so I can't give them a full review.

We'll start with something simple. This is actually I believe the second best Jessie doll on the market. Though her face looks like she's a little... TOO happy. The hat is kinda tiny too and I hear it doesn't stay on very well.

We'll start small with these. They're not god awful, but they're not great either. the top one looks like she wants to molest you (and the hat seems a bit too big) and the bottom one looks like she's completely stoned.

Now this one while not ugly, is just funny looking. She looks caught in mid-smile.

Dear... god! This goes down as the UGLIEST Jessie doll I've seen. She looks like a monkey! But at least they remembered to make her hair yarn

Here's an action figure. I believe this came out rather recently. She's supposed to be dancing but her stand makes her look like she's inappropriately massaging a horse. She's got kind of a scary face too. In fact, a lot of these Jessie toys do. Whether they were trying to recreate her face as she appears in toy mode in the movies, or they're trying to make a sculpt that speaks to her tough girl personality, they just came out as scary. But even these are no wear near as scary, as frightening, as nightmare fueling as he following doll I'm about to show you

SWEET JESUS! What the Hell were they thinking here? SERIOUSLY! Who in their right minds approved of this design? I feel bad for any child that got THIS for Christmas. She looks like she wants to rape you, or strangle you in your sleep.
I had read in an article that when they introduced Jessie in Toy Story 2, toy companies were weary because anyone who follows toys know, many toy companies have borderline sexist mentalities on female characters in what is perceived as a "boys" toy line. However, John Lasseter insisted on her being in the movie and toy line to encourage the original intention of Toy Story not being specifically for boys, but for both genders. So looking at these toys has me wondering if the company was intended on making these things bad so no one would want them and in turn encourage their sexist mentality on toys. Well, the joke's on them because toy sales have shown that Jessie's popularity and sales rival Woody's. Though I'm pretty sure Buzz still beats them both.